Monday, January 30, 2006

That Movie, Downfall

Adolph Hitler coulda been somebody.
He had all the characteristics of a real leader.
Maybe if he had applied himself more.
Maybe if he hadn't been such a stark raving lunatic.

Everybody was just waiting around for him to shoot himself.
They were all like, "Heil mein Fuhrer"--
loosely translated, "You da man, duderino"--
and waiting like crazy people for the Russians.
They wouldn't leave their insane leader because they liked his moustache so much.

I would have just shot him in his face.
Everyone would have been all, "Finally," and
"Nice shot."
I would have become the new Fuhrer. I
would have made Roosevelt's birthday a Nationalist holiday.

Hitler told his guy to burn his dead body.
He didn't want the Russians to poke it.
It would have been a disgrace.
Let's all disgrace Hitler, I say.
Let's write "Hitler was a bigot" in the
signature lines of our email.
Let's get stupid little moustaches and go around saying,
"Oh, I'men de Hitleren. Oh, I conquereden Europen. I'men de Fuhreren."
"Bitte."

He really was a nice man.
He gave cyanide tablets to his friends.
He was grave, but also he liked to hear the little
Nazi children sing little Nazi songs. Then their
mother killed them while they slept.

Poor little Adolph Hitler.
He carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.
There were so many Jews, you know? Josh
made a movie called "Shitler."
In it, Hitler takes a poop then wipes his cute little butt with some
pages from his book, Mein Kampf.
I don't know but it's like a Russian poking him with a stick.

Adolph Hitler Adolph Hitler Adolph Hitler Adolph Hitler
I'd like to lick your forehead.
I'd like to punch you in the feet.
Adolph Hitler
I'd give you a wedgie,
you cute little madman.

Hey Adolph Hitler,
here's a quarter. Call someone who cares.

knock knock
who's there
Adolph Hitler
Oh, hello Adolph. I'd like to lick you on the forehead.

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