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Thursday, February 19, 2009

No-AWP Report

Sorry I'm getting my post about No-AWP up a little late. It's just that No-AWP sucks this year. It's hard to remember what I ever liked about No-AWP. At No-AWP I keep not running into Matt Bell. It's true! I just keep sitting at my cubicle wondering whether I should quit my job. I go to sleep at a normal time. I'm always sober. At No-AWP I don't wonder where everybody suddenly went and then find them an hour later at the funnest table flying a helicopter. No, instead, this year at No-AWP I go long stretches of the day before running into writers I really like, like justin sirois or Michael Kimball. I haven't seen Ric Royer at No-AWP for weeks. I know Ric Royer is around somewhere at No-AWP, but there isn't a funnest table to meet him at.

No-Peter Cole is punching me in my No-face, I think, it's confusing, this negativity.

At No-AWP I can't figure out how to upload videos.

There are No-shots at the No-Hobart table. No-Elizabeth Ellen and No-Aaron Burch are no-standing at that table all the time at No-AWP. No-Zach Dodson is no-awesome. One thing about No-AWP is I'm always taking No-smokes with No-Daniel Bailey.

I rode the bus home from work last night and saw No-Blake Butler doing an amazing reading at No-AWP. At No-AWP no one wears badges that say Adam Robinson, not even No-Jereme Dean or No-Craig Griffin. I don't hear about a box of badges that say Adam Robinson from Ryan Call. No-Ryan Call bites compared to Ryan Call. I'm having a serious problem with No-Ryan Call and No-Shane Jones and No-Christy Call being at No-AWP this year. Where the heck is No-Mike Young? He's everywhere. Where is he? He's at No-AWP.

This weekend, though, should be better. I'm going to see No-Blake Butler and No-Shane Jones. No-Molly Gaudry is coming from Philadelphia. It will be at that actual thing, the five:ten. It won't be anything like this bullshit No-AWP. It'll be a lot like AWP.

12 comments:

Molly Gaudry said...

This is hilarious.

Adam R said...

See you soon, Molly.

Michael Kimball said...

Is No-Adam Robinson Adam Robison?

Molly Gaudry said...

No? Yes? Yes! I'm confused...

Adam R said...

Molly now I'm confused. See you soon, Michael.

DB said...

i will not smoke with you anytime i meet you again.

Justin Sirois said...

Lord, you are splendid.

You'll like me more when you see me bite it at Hold'Em tonight.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Joseph Young said...

this is the best post. i like confuse.

Kathryn said...

you are witty.

i want to see the effing video.

ryan call said...

i miss you, adam robinson

Zach Dodson said...

i'm dying to hang out with no-zach dodson.

Adam R said...

I guess you'd have to die in order to hang out with him. Nice one.

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