Monday, May 02, 2011

Making non-writer friends as a writer -- Guest post by Caleb Ross

This is a guest post by Caleb J Ross as part of his Stranger Will Tour for Strange blog tour. He will be guest-posting beginning with the release of his novel Stranger Will in March 2011 to the release of his second novel, I Didn't Mean to Be Kevin, in November 2011. If you have connections to a lit blog of any type, professional journal or personal site, please contact him. To be a groupie and follow this tour, subscribe to the Caleb J Ross blog RSS feed. Follow him on Twitter: Friend him on Facebook:

    Don't talk about your writing unless you are asked about your writing. Even then, don't talk about your writing. 
    The general public will always think Stephen King, Dan Brown, and Stephenie Meyer are better writers than you. Just agree with them (or at least, just stay quiet). 
    To continue point 2 above, read Stephen King, Dan Brown, and Stephenie Meyer. You may not like it, but sometimes you have to close your eyes and give in if you want to fit in. If it helps, tell yourself that doing it is good for your complexion, and that if you don't all the other girls will make fun of you. 
    If you have to cancel plans with friends because of writing-related engagements, lie. It is true that you may have a dirty bathrobe and a brand new Moleskine notebook to attend to, but no self-respecting civilian is going to appreciate being stood up because of an inanimate object. Say that your grandmother died. If your friends get suspicious because you've had fourteen grandmothers die in a six month period, then your friends are probably just your “friends.” (Quotation humor, you like that?) 
    No matter how rock-solid you think your argument may be, writing will never be analogous to sports. And no matter how boring you think the “big game” may be, commercial breaks are not windows of opportunity to enlighten living-room spectators.
    For anyone reading this blog who thinks negatively of me for these tips, let me say, writing is a dumb hobby, James Patterson rules (he cleared up my acne), I don't even own any paper, and GO CHIEFS! See, we're friends now, aren't we?


Gordon Highland said...

That's hilarious. I never know what to tell my friends when standing them up in favor of writing. "Stuff to get done" is my go-to, but I think they know better.

Anonymous said...

The pleasure was mine but probably not as much as yours. I'm envious of your platform and "writing functions to attend." I'm pretentious about my writing because it strokes my insecure places when the world leaves me with myself.

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