I am afraid of Peter Davis

Here are the poets I like best of all:

Mairead Byrne

THINGS I AM SURPRISED ARE NOT ILLEGAL

PANCAKES.
PANCAKES WITH MAPLE SYRUP.
PANCAKES DRENCHED WITH LEMON JUICE & MAPLE SYRUP.
PANCAKES WITH FRIED BANANA (FRIED IN BUTTER).
PANCAKES WITH AN EGG IN THEM & MAYBE A HANDFUL OF BLUEBERRIES.
ALL OF THE ABOVE.
UHH!
[link]

Matt Cook

James Joyce

He was stupid
He didn't know as much as me
I'd rather throw dead batteries at cows than read him
Everything was going fine before he came along
He started the Civil War
[. . .]

Stephanie Barber

from For a Lawn Poem
My agenda is to convince you of the dynamic possibilities of owning your own lawn poem. Yes, imagine the joy you will feel when you step into your yard and look onto the grassy glory that is your green, healthfully manicured lawn poem. You will never cease to read the lines differently each time you gaze—a short, sharp midday thunderstorm will spark those words alive. A placid sunset will infuse your lawn with bravery and a calm confident sense of linguistic obeisance.
[. . .]

Alan Dugan

On Trees

Don't talk to me about trees having branches and roots:
they are all root,
[. . .]

Zachary German

Something Bad Happened Today

[. . .]

she said 'but do you want to have children'

i said 'no'

she said 'alright'

she didn't say anything for a little while

she said 'so you don't want to get married'

i said 'i don't know'

she said 'you've never dated any girls?'

she said 'are you gay'

she said 'sir are you gay'

she said 'it's my stop'

she said 'goodbye'

she said 'say goodbye sir'

Lauren Bender

This Ain’t No Damn Bingo! Shoot.

You stay here and I’ll go think about guns
[. . .]
Dump pillowcase booty onto living room floor and inspect for myth.
[. . .]
How much does an I-Book cost
How does everything man owns fit into a 6x4 storage unit
Jack, your wife’s organ is missing
Jack, this poem is channeling nothing but a hangnail in my drunken country
[. . .]
Quoted yourself right down the information superhighway
Sidewalk chalk for her intellectual graffiti
I’m so excited and I just can’t hide it
Friends + 2,
Harborside view,
How did your boots get so dusty

Now add to the list Peter Davis. I'm afraid of him, I'm afraid there isn't room for the two of us. I just bought his book, Hitler's Mustache. I meant to order it a while ago but I forgot. I bet this book is as good as I've heard, but I hope it's slightly less good than I'm imaging it is. I am envious of this poem, from MiPOesias:

Skateboarding!

I skate for me and my Homeboys!
We grind and carve!
Let’s skate! We yell that shit, Tina!
We fucking yell it!
We’re behind the grocery store, Tina,
shredding this curb and
John Law comes up and is like
Scram! Fuckers! So Lame!
And I’m adjusting my beret!
And Tina, my skate Betty is in love
with me, but I can’t
even explain to her how much
I will skate or die!

Also there is

BMX Bikes!

BMX bikes are awesome!
Riding BMX bikes is radical!
Doing wheelies on BMX bikes is
totally rad, Tina!
Jumping dirt jumps on BMX bikes
is super fly and way fresh!
Even the plastic number plates
on BMX bikes rock!
All of the stickers on BMX bikes
are peachy to the max!
Also the sound of the sprocket
when you pedal
backward on a BMX bike
rocks! Tina,
BMX bikes even taste cool!
The knobby tires on BMX bikes
are fucking sweet!

He made a mistake, if you ask me, with the one about Ninjas.

He has four poems in the new Lamination Colony, where it is that I first read him, just now. These maybe were easy to write but I bet they were kind of hard. He even says as much in the first poem. Check it out:

POEM ADDRESSING MY INTENTIONS IN THIS POEM AND HOW I FEEL LIKE I’M DOING

It is important to me when considering this poem to do something that’s easy, something that doesn’t take much time or energy. I say that because this isn’t the only poem I need to write. I need to write others too, to increase the possibility of publishing something. On the other hand, it’s also important to me that it contains a great truth, something that will make you slow down and really think. I want you to be very impressed with this poem and the thoughts it inspires within you. I would like it to be something I’m proud of, both now, and in the future. I feel pretty good about it so far, but it’s been a little harder to write than I’d hoped.

If I ever meet this Peter Davis I'm going to kick him in the nuts. He's great. I hate him.